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Social Event Do’s and Don’ts Written by a Socially Awkward Advice Columnist
Do think twice whether you even have to go
Do use open body language and non-verbal communication to attract people to come and talk to you, as you sit there in the corner. Remember to smile agreeably towards the void of the crowd at all times. Also, open body language is strictly for upper body only. Open legs signify a different attitude altogether, and you will not want to make that mistake again.
Do keep checking that compact mirror you brought with you. Even though you had spinach three days ago, there is a high likelihood it will appear on your teeth at any given moment.
Do attend with a full leg brace if the event has a dancefloor and your acquaintances have the tendency to make everyone join them. Nobody needs to see the one move you have, which is essentially the same one John Cena does, when he says “you can’t see me”. If you don’t have a leg brace, fake a broken leg as soon as you can. This is when those high school drama classes finally pay off.
Do take lots of photos and videos of everyone having a good time around you. This gives you a purpose on the night not to be on the dancefloor, if again you have forgotten that leg brace. Think of yourself as the unofficial event photographer and snap away your…
