Member-only story
Why Socialising in a Group Can Be Hard Work as a Neurodivergent
When I’m distracted and unsure in groups, this is what I do
Probably, I thought, no one else cares about the talking, so why should everyone change what they’re doing just to make me comfortable?
Recently, I plucked up the courage to tell the facilitator of my regular small class, who is also a friend, though not a close one, that I was struggling with feeling distracted by others talking in the space.
It’s a general convention for ecstatic dance spaces to be non-verbal. Still, somehow this had fallen to the wayside in this particular class, perhaps because of its small size and the participants’ familiarity with each other.
Why is talking such a problem for me in a setting like this? Trying to stay connected with my body as an AuDHDer (Autistic with ADHD) is difficult at the best of times, especially in a high-stimulation environment where my brain is working hard to process everything. Hearing people engaging in conversation and laughing on the dancefloor takes me straight out of my presence with myself, leaving me having to start all over again once the talking subsides — only to be disrupted each time the inevitable chatter emerged again.
