Sexual Trauma Didn’t Just Steal My Safety — It Rewired My Brain

A personal account of what happens when your nervous system no longer trusts the world — or yourself.

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It wasn’t dramatic. He just held the door open.
That’s it. That’s all it took.

My chest locked up, my brain went white, and every part of me screamed to turn around — even though nothing was happening. That’s the problem. Nothing was happening. But my body didn’t get the message.

This is what people don’t understand about sexual trauma.
It doesn’t end when the moment ends. It sinks into your nervous system and rearranges the way you walk through the world. It doesn’t just steal your safety — it rewires your brain.

There are things I’ve lived through that I’ve never spoken about in detail. Not because I’m ashamed, and not because I’ve forgotten — but because I’m still trying to name what they did to me.
There’s a kind of violation that doesn’t just leave you bruised — it leaves you watching yourself from outside your own skin.

People think trauma is about flashbacks.
Sometimes, sure. But for me, it’s the other things:

• My reflex to scan every…