What’s Your Love Language?
Why Touch and Affection Matter to Me.
I’ve realised something essential about myself. I crave affection in a relationship. Hugs, kisses, little touches, even just those small moments of physical contact — they’re not just nice extras, they’re fundamental to how I feel loved and connected. Without them, I feel an emptiness, a sadness that, to be honest, I struggle to ignore.
Of course, relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one couple might not work for another, and I deeply respect that. For some, love is expressed through words, thoughtful gestures, or shared experiences. Those are important, too — I don’t discount them at all. But for me, touch is more than just a love language; it’s how I feel safe in the relationship.
My boyfriend tells me it’s hard for him. He says affection doesn’t come naturally to him. I’ve tried to understand that, and I know it’s not about me being unworthy of affection — it’s about how he’s wired. But when affection is something I long for, something that makes me feel connected and secure, it becomes a real challenge. A relationship without ‘cariño’, without those small but powerful gestures of touch, feels incomplete to me.
It’s not about trying to change him or force something unnatural. It’s about recognizing that we might need different things to feel fulfilled. For me, a relationship isn’t just about companionship; it’s about feeling close, cherished, and desired. Affection isn’t everything — communication, trust, and mutual respect are just as crucial. But if one person craves touch and the other struggles to offer it, how do you navigate that?
What makes affection so important to me isn’t just emotional; it’s biological. Touch releases oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” which helps build trust and strengthen the connection. It also triggers dopamine, the neurotransmitter that boosts happiness. So when I say I need affection, it’s not about being needy — it’s about nurturing the bond that we have… watering the flowers, if you like.
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: I don’t want to settle for a relationship that feels distant or lacking. It’s not about blame — it’s about being honest with myself and what I need to feel loved. Relationships should lift us, not leave us feeling empty.
Our needs are valid, and we all deserve a love that speaks to our souls — whether that’s through words, gestures, or touch.
For me, touch is essential. It always will be.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope you found it helpful and empowering. Your thoughts and experiences are valuable to me, so please feel free to share them in the comments section below. I look forward to catching up with you soon. Louise ;)
