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Matrix Malfunctions: The Hilarious Glitches of Aging
Laughing Through Life’s Software Updates
2 min readSep 25, 2023
- Getting older is like the Matrix glitching out — you start to wonder if your body is just buffering for a few seconds before it can decide to get out of bed in the morning.
- Aging is like a glitch in the Matrix’s code. Instead of dodging bullets, you’re dodging responsibilities and wrinkles.
- When you age, it’s like the Matrix forgot to optimize its graphics settings, and suddenly everything looks a bit pixelated and blurry.
- As you age, it’s like the Matrix is running on an outdated processor, and your reflexes become as slow as a dial-up internet connection.
- Aging is like the Matrix running on dial-up. Your thoughts are buffering, and it takes a while to download the latest updates to your memory.
- The Matrix must have a bug in its system because while I’ve heard that a body in motion tends to stay in motion, this body in motion tends to simply topple over.
- Getting older is like the Matrix having a memory leak; you can’t remember where you put your keys, but you can still recite all the lyrics to your favorite ’80s songs.
- Aging is like the Matrix having a glitch in the character creation screen; you start with a…
