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I Journaled for 265 Days in 2024
I hated journaling.
I have always been scared of my emotions. The idea of penning down felt like a task because it meant you relive the bad that has happened to you.
Imagine a scared girl who didn’t live her early 20s the way other 20-year-olds did because it was filled with trauma, abandonment, deaths, and tragedy. She is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. That’s me. My life felt like a nightmare for years, and I was desperately trying to get out of my misery.
I was ready to do anything to not feel the pain and when I was told by my therapist and on the internet that journaling is going to help heal me, I didn’t wait. I pounced at the opportunity like a hungry bear.
Journaling never worked for me
Let me reveal it to you, I have tried journaling before and failed more times than I would like to admit.
It never worked because I always viewed it as a daunting task. Truth be told, if you have low self-esteem everything feels scary and unachievable. The bazillion videos that I had watched on journaling added to the pressure. All I could see was beautiful handwriting, an aesthetic journal, and tons of pages filled.
Even when I did start, my inability and fear to handle the buried emotions made me…
