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Beyond the Plate
Unwrapping the Psychological Demons in Diets Fails
On a normal day, I find my hubby standing in the kitchen dipping cookies in his espresso. I say, “Honey, do you think I should go on a diet?”
Watching me with the wariness of a cornered raccoon, he sidles two steps away. Says nothing. He knows this conversation can easily turn into a dumpster fire.
As a 40-something who recently lost her mother to dementia, health paranoia is a life-long friend. I’ve tried all the diets, both trendy and scientific, until I’m convinced there’s a tiny demon sprinting between my hypothalamus and thyroid. It laughs manically while pulling levers labeled “lose weight fast” and “life is short, eat the damn apple fritter.”
At times, I love succumbing to the demon of Want. A slice of Oreo cheesecake won’t tip the scales that much. Tomorrow, I’ll eat clean and track my macros. Tomorrow, I’ll walk an extra 45 minutes. Tomorrow, I’ll face the other, more notorious demons, Body Image and Self-Worth.
Denial lets me continue complaining. “None of my jeans fit. Maybe it’s all the weight training I’m doing. Would you say I’m stronger and rounder, or just rounder?”
He sips espresso and sighs. “I’m not getting into this with you. It’s a zero-sum game.”
