5 Reasons Why Self-Control Predicts Positive Life Outcomes?
Who Are These People Who Are Rarely Tested by Temptations?
…we must make automatic and habitual, as early as possible, as many useful actions as we can…The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more of our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work. ~William James — The Principles of Psychology, 1890, p. 122
I understand the constant daily temptations that avoid one from lasting attention and focus on what needs to be done. I am a full-time Ph.D. student, and my struggles with self-control are ceaseless. If not for proper uses of self-control techniques, I would not be able to do my studies and writings.
We have been there, and quite frankly, we sometimes get stuck in there. The amazing taste of that ice-cream, finding the strength to come out for a run, giving in to late-night meals, the very attractive video that came right after the one I just watched on Facebook/YouTube, and notifications all around the screen … etc. Temptations seem easier accessible, readily available, very well-engineered, and sometimes much cheaper than we thought. Constant distractions on our every step make it extremely difficult for us to practice self-control.
The good news is that self-control is learned. People are not born with it. Self-controlling people get better at it by doing it. Meaning, it is only the first step that is necessary.
Let's see what self-control is first.
Self-control is widely regarded as one’s capacity to change and adapt the self in order to produce better and to find an optimal fit between self and world. (e.g ). It is interrupting undesired behavioral tendencies, and refraining from enacting them.
What can self-control give us? Why is it that important?
Have you ever heard of the Marshmallow Test?
A few decades ago, the late psychologist Walter Mischel put forth the famous to test delayed gratifications in children. In the test, he asked children whether they wanted to eat one marshmallow now or two marshmallows later. Some of them, being children, gave in and had the one marshmallow. However, some others suppressed their desire to have the reward of two marshmallows later. Mischel and his team followed these children later in life and found that those who resisted temptations and delayed gratifications too, 1) perform better in school, sports, and other extra-curricular activities, 2) attain higher education, and 3) salary levels.
Interesting, right?
What is even more interesting to me is that self-control and what you can gain from practicing it is lifelong. It is not age bound, but life dependent.
Why does self-control predict such a wide array of positive life outcomes?
Answer 1 — A reliance on beneficial habits
Self-control is not so effortful when you learn how to do it. Hence, in using less effortful inhibitions, it makes you progress better on goals. According to Galla and Duckworth’s , the reason why it is effortless for people who practice self-control is that they rely on beneficial habits. Habits are directly related to your self-control capacity. See answer 2.
How are beneficial habits developed?
One way to do this is to ensure you repeat the behavior frequently. Research shows that behavior is likely to become habitual when it is frequently and consistently performed in the same context. For example, when decided to include veggies in your lunch and/or dinner. Do it every day. That is what my wife and I decided to do. It's been more than 4 months. Now it tastes amazing, and if we do not have it ones, a plate is clearly missing on the table.
But it has not been very much the same with writing ‘love letters to my Ph.D’! Because, honestly, it has not been repetitive.
Answer 2 — Self-control helps you learn better habits
Recently (March 2020), a from the Netherlands, Finland, and the UK tracked self-control capacity to see if it affects the development of good habits. They found a large increase in habit strength over the course of three months (90 days) only! What's more interesting is that, if your behaviors are congruent with your life goals, your behaviors tend to form into habits much earlier than 90 days.
A quick tip— Link that good habit of yours to your long term goal. Make the habit work for attaining the goal. All the while, you are practicing self-control and making it better.
Answer 3 — You get to enjoy what you do
What we resist doing, self-controlling people enjoy! For example, because I personally love studying I enjoy it. Sometimes it comes at the cost of my health. As I get lost in the readings and note-taking, my back and shoulders hurt, I get headaches. The pain brings me back to my consciousness. Not that I suggest you hurt yourself. I merely want to show that the ‘want-to’ goals might better attach you to self-control than ‘have to’ goals. Then, the activities you do will be so engaging that it is not a task for you anymore, but fun. Be them, eating healthy, studying, or exercising.
Answer 4 — Self-control leads you to wealth
I do not think poor people have less self-control, but I do think poverty is a big factor. Self-control, in my opinion, is learned strategies not innate abilities. The group that did the marshmallow tests further suggested that the reason the children who resisted the marshmallow did better later in life is that they had been taught when and how to use effective self-control techniques. So learning those techniques could lead to a better life financially.
Answer 5: It turns out the self-control can actually be learned
Self-control is such a good predictor of success because those who are in control teach themselves to be in control. They make the effort to develop good habits and teach themselves techniques of control. Consider the following:
- Delaying gratifications — Next time I wanted to do something that puts me off my task, I will just tell myself I will do that later. Not that I will not do it, but later. Another way to delay gratification is to think of what gratifies you as something else, for example imagining the ice-cream as a picture of the ice-cream. You can not eat a picture, can you?
- Task completion — My promise to myself is complete this task completely, then I am going to do what gravitates me. Or even better, that I finish my day, then I will do this and that in the night. Remember, the purpose is training yourself to be in control. So maybe you could decide not to give in to that temptation at all.
- Limit your choices or make your choice healthy one — In your next shopping, if you were to choose a kilo of banana or a chocolate cake, which one would you go for? What if we change these options, and decide to include in our options only ones that are healthy? So, instead of a chocolate cake, I include other food that is healthy for me. Then I choose. That is the same for almost everything.
According to a , healthy food-choice habits protect people against temptations of consuming large portion sizes and unhealthy foods. Make sense? - Self-monitoring — Feeding myself back on my progress, my failed or successful attempts. Studying them and understand the factors will keep you in line with your self-management.
- Self-assurance — believing you can.
- Self-control should not be your goal — It should be/is rather your means by which you attain your personal goals. Meaning, too much focus on self-control should not deviate you form your own goals.
To Conclude
Good self-control leads to better relationships and interpersonal skills, better adjustment, and higher self-esteem, secure attachment, higher grade point average (if you are a student like myself), less binge eating and alcohol abuse, and more optimal emotional responses.
There is, however, an alert.
Self-control and willpower are finite. Meaning, if you do not get hold of it, it will run out. This is to ensure that you do not fall in to; today in control and not tomorrow. It is the rather constant and daily restrictions on the self that turns your small deeds into bigger acts that eventually make up your success.
