Member-only story
Just me
Alone again
A Heartbreak Like No Other.
When I lost my mom, I thought I could bear it, but the truth is, I didn’t. After Jenny and Annie came for the burial and then left, it was just me. Alone. In the silence, I couldn’t figure out how to breathe. I tried to keep it together, but the grief sank in like a heavy weight I couldn’t carry.
I didn’t make it through those moments. My blood pressure soared, and my aunt, along with a few people who cared, told me to stop thinking so much, to avoid stress. But the advice didn’t help. It wasn’t just my body that was breaking—it was my spirit, too. I thought I had offended God, maybe I wasn’t good enough for a miracle. I believed that Jesus would pass by, like He did in the book of Matthew, and heal my mom—but He never showed up. That thought left a hole in my heart that I couldn’t fill.
Everything changed. My prayer life, once strong, withered. I felt distant from the faith I’d once believed in. My studies, my energy for life, all crumbled. All I could do was sleep, think, and watch comedy movies to drown out the pain. I thought if I laughed, even just for a moment, the ache would go away. But it didn’t. I chose to be a loner, isolating myself from the world.
Depression became my constant companion, and I learned how to live with it. But it wasn’t living—it was existing. Every…
