The North Pole Explained

By Laurie Bolewitz, Elyza Halpern, and Laura Ornella with illustrations by Molly Kessler

Getting a Groupon for a discounted North Pole trip should’ve been my first red flag, but here are the others…

Santa’s Workshop

A Christmas dream come true! I entered the sterile, white warehouse, not exactly reminiscent of Christmas cheer. But, hey, maybe Santa renovated? The high-tech equipment suggested that AI had replaced the happy team of elves missing. Budget cuts, perhaps? After promptly being removed by security, I learned I was just in a research station dedicated to climate change.

Candy Cane Lane

Candy Cane Lane has been a childhood dream of mine ever since I can remember. I dreamt of licking that forest full of sweet, whimsical, colorful candy…It’s a good thing I didn’t because it turned out to be a dirty path of fish hooks and — oh my god, is that blood? A seal’s? A human’s? This mystery is better left unsolved.

Rudolph

As I walked away, I noticed something charging toward me in the distance. Rudolph? He still had a bright red nose, but he also had the head of a boar and a cheetah’s…