When Kindness Goes Unnoticed, Be Strong Enough to Walk Away
If your compassion doesn't include yourself, it is incomplete- Jack Kornfield
Kindness is a beautiful blessing of universe, a gift that make us different from other living beings on the earth. But when we pour our kindness into wrong places, where it goes unappreciated then it begins to loses its value.
But it doesn’t mean that you should stop being kind, but to learn to be selective about who deserve the best of you, and walk away from those who don’t.
From the very young age, kindness was something which come from my heart naturally, like a voice of inner soul that guiding me how to interact with the world. I used to believe that I should always being kind to every person around me, without any reciprocation. Afterall it was not about receiving something in return.
Throughout my life there was countless moments when I have been there for people in their tough time. But they took it for granted and treated my kindness as my weakness. They knew that I would be always around when no one else there. I became the puppet dancing to their needs over the time. They celebrated their moments of joy without me, but in the moment of sorrow I was always first who came to their mind. I became the one they used in the needs and ignore when I was no longer needed.
As I grew older, I have come to realize that the reality of kindness is something different. While many say that kindness doesn’t need to be reciprocated, but I have found many of us seeks a small appreciation and validation to their act of kindness, so that their kindness could not be taken for granted. Without a small amount of appreciation kindness is like giving water to a dead plant that will never grow.
I began to understand that kindness has limits especially when offers to those who fails to appreciate it, then it became wasted energy. So, I set my heart to walk away from those who didn’t value my kindness. However, it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I started to distance myself from some close ones, but they sensed the change and began to behave differently. I found myself melted under their response and falling back to the same pattern again and again. I spent hours wondering if I was doing something wrong.
One day I asked one question from myself: Do I really deserve this after offering so much kindness? Am I giving myself the kindness that I offer to others?
And I got my answers after some bitter experiences and tough realizations. Kindness is undoubtedly a beautiful gift, but it’s important to give it to ourselves before offering it to others. And choosing yourself over the other does not mean that you are no longer kind. You are still a beautiful kind hearted person who knows when and to whom you need to offer kindness. It’s totally okay to walk away with people who don’t appreciate you or acknowledge your kindness. It’s okay to say no, to walk away, to protect your inner peace. it’s necessary for your soul.
In this process I lost some relationships, but I gained something more valuable “Self-Respect” and a part of me who was craving for being valued was satisfied now.
I began choose relationships where I my kindness was valued, and where I didn’t feel like I had to lost myself to keep the peace.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve to be treated with the same kindness you so freely give and that is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
