Member-only story
Normalize Telling People They Picked The Wrong Partner
No, seriously. What do you mean your partner does nothing around the house?
Call me crazy, but we should be open and honest with people when we realize their partner shouldn’t have been picked. I was talking with a few girlfriends recently about invisible labor. We were chatting about sharing household chores with your partner. How to have a conversation about sharing the workload and what’s acceptable if both parties are working full time. One of my friends mentioned her friend. This friend lives with her husband and their kids. Her and her husband work full time, but she’s expected to shoulder all the housework and child rearing. On weekends, the “husband,” reportedly lounges around doing nothing, claiming he needs to unwind after a stressful week. He even leaves his clothes on the floor, expecting her to pick them up.
She never gets a break.
My friend — we’ll call her Cate — said she tried to give her friend tough love. She told her the situation was off and they should hire cleaning people to help. The friend said that her husband refuses to hire someone because he prefers how she cleans. I’m guessing this is a ploy to save money while also manipulating his wife into thinking she’s a star task rabbit.
