The Good News About the Hole They Left Behind

You never needed them to fill it anyway.

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You already knew the relationship wasn’t right, and that it probably hadn’t been right for a long while. Maybe it had been wrong from day one. But even if there was a time when things were truly working, that period was very much in the rearview mirror by the time things ended.

So why weren’t you able to act as soon as your intuition knew this person wasn’t meant for you? Was it because they were really that special and irreplaceable? Almost certainly not. I’m willing to bet it was the fear of loneliness and loss that kept you holding on longer than you should have. This person occupied a place in your heart for months or even years, and the thought of that place just sitting there empty was terrifying enough to overshadow a whole lot of flaws in the relationship.

But here’s the thing about that hole in your heart once they’re gone: if you’re honest with yourself, it was probably there before this relationship came along. There was something missing, preventing you from feeling whole and content, and you looked around and found a person who seemed like they might be the solution. Then the relationship ended and the hole opened right back up.

I’m here to tell you (and myself — always myself too) that’s good news, even though…