Member-only story
The Danger of Romanticizing Potential Relationships
It makes you needy.
Having studied Alpha Male techniques since college, I know a thing or two about playing it cool. Don’t reveal too much too soon. Don’t be too available. Never be desperate. Of course, I know how to do that. Yet, knowing isn’t the same as feeling. About a month ago, I couldn’t help myself but break every rule in the playbook. Without guessing, you already know — I was rejected.
After clearing my head, I started questioning my behaviors. I knew better, so why did I leave a fruit tea by her door, apologizing for nothing? Not only was she not my type, but I’ve never held a real-life conversation with her. What prompted me to act like an insecure little boy and treat her like a princess who was on the verge of becoming my girlfriend?
Overthinking.
I was manufacturing extra feelings, fantasizing her as something more than she actually is. I was simply searching for someone to fill the void left by my ex two months ago.
Idealizing before entering a relationship is about the worse thing we could do.
