5 Truths that Changed My Perspective on Love and Relationships

We all know relationships are a two-way street. The strongest ones thrive when both partners are willing to do the work — especially after the honeymoon phase fades, life gets real, and you’re left with each other at the end of a long day.

Looking back, there are a few things I wish I had truly understood before my relationship ended. If you’re navigating love, heartbreak, or self-discovery, I hope these lessons help you, too.

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1. Love is a Choice

I used to think love was purely a feeling — something magical that just existed when the right person came along. But the truth is, love is an active choice.

I even bought a card for my ex once that said in bold gold letters: Love is a Choice. If you believe in growth, self-awareness, or even certain spiritual teachings, you’ve probably heard this before. Love isn’t just about chemistry; it’s about intentionally choosing your partner every day, through both the good times and the difficult ones.

Some days, love is easy. Other days, it requires conscious effort. But it should never feel like a battle just to receive the bare minimum.

2. You Are Not “Too Much” or “Not Enough”