Member-only story
Stop Letting Potential Partners (and Actual Ones) Wreck Your Sleep Cycle
I’ve lost sleep I’ll never get back over partners I’d never want back.
I’ve lost sleep I’ll never get back over partners I’d never want back. It’s a strange but striking thought. The funny thing is that at the time, I never realized that I was always aligning my sleep schedule to theirs, not the other way around.
I was the one who stayed up late, even though I had to get up early with young children. I was the one who would be exhausted the next morning because actual partners and potential ones weren’t willing to shift their schedules to accommodate mine. I had whole relationships where I was sleepy every day — even in those early days when those extra late-night phone calls felt stimulating and necessary.
It wouldn’t be quite accurate to say that I’m angry at all the partners who allowed this. After all, the problem was with my weak boundaries and seeming inability to assert my own need for rest. While some consideration would have been appreciated, I’ve learned that we can’t expect others to consider what we are unwilling to express.
