Where Do You Feel That In Your Body?

A Guide to embodied awareness in coaching and everyday life.

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As I sat soaking up the morning sun, I felt the loose belly muscles, and I knew that my well-being was deep in the moment.

I feel my stress in my highly tight back and erect spine. Whenever I feel threatened with overwhelm, my face muscles tighten, and my lips feel a tightening and pursing.

Each sensation informs me where I am in the wellbeing space and where I need to check in to reset. I know now that our body is a deep reservoir of information about how it holds our emotional experiences. Training myself, my family, and my clients has been a rewarding and sometimes life-changing experience. I am cautious about scaring my clients with direct body check-ins. I realize that not everyone is tuned in to their bodies to retrieve this information. A lot of psychoeducation is required to get them to pay attention to this vital force.

I take this space to create a resource bank for anyone to start with body awareness work. It is deep work, but even basic know-how can be life-altering.

The Magic of Body-Based Awareness

Have you ever noticed how emotions aren’t just mental experiences? That anxiety might create a tightness in your chest. Or that excitement can send tingling down your spine?

“Where do you feel that in your body?” is a deceptively simple question that opens doors to profound insights. By directing attention to physical sensations, this question:

• Bypasses intellectual defenses that often block emotional awareness
• Grounds abstract experiences in concrete, present-moment sensations
• Interrupts rumination cycles by shifting attention to the body
• Accesses wisdom that thinking alone cannot reach
• Creates space between feeling and reacting to increase response flexibility

The Question in Action

In Therapy/Coaching Settings

Scenario: Working with Anxiety

Client: “I’m so anxious about this presentation tomorrow. My thoughts keep racing.”

Coach: “If it feels okay, could we pause for a moment? Where do you feel that anxiety in your body right now?”

Client: “Hmm… my chest feels tight. And my shoulders are really tense.”

Coach: “Can you stay with that tightness in your chest for a moment? Is there a shape or size to it?”

Client: “It’s like a hard ball… about the size of a tennis ball.”

Coach: “As you give it attention, does anything change?”

Client: “Actually… It’s softening a little. I just took a deeper breath without even trying.”

What happened here? The coach guided the client away from the anxiety-producing thoughts about the future and into present-moment awareness. This shift created immediate physiological regulation (deeper breathing) and demonstrated to the client that anxiety isn’t a fixed state but can shift through awareness.

Scenario: Exploring Decision-Making

Therapist: “You’ve talked about both job options, and they both look good on paper. If you imagine accepting Job A, where do you feel that in your body?”

Client: “There’s a heaviness in my stomach, kind of sinking.”

Therapist: “And if you imagine accepting Job B?”

Client: “My chest feels more open, like I can breathe better.”

Therapist: “That’s really interesting. What do those sensations tell you about these options?”

Client: “I think my body’s telling me something my pros and cons list isn’t capturing.”

What happened here? The therapist helped the client access their intuitive knowing through body sensations, revealing information that cognitive analysis alone had missed.

Beyond the Therapy Room

Scenario: Workplace Tensions

Colleague: “I’m dreading this meeting with Mark. He always shoots down my ideas.”

You: “That sounds frustrating. If you think about those interactions, where do you feel that in your body?”

Colleague: “My jaw gets really tight. I’m probably clenching it right now just thinking about it.”

You: “What happens if you consciously relax your jaw for a moment?”

Colleague: “It’s actually easier to think about approaches that might work with him when my jaw isn’t so tight.”

What happened here? This simple body awareness question helped your colleague recognize a physical tension pattern that was limiting their ability to think creatively about the situation.

Scenario: Parenting

Parent: “Where do you feel that anger in your body right now, sweetheart?”

Child: “My hands want to hit! And my face is hot!”

Parent: “Your hands feel that strong energy and your face feels hot. What do your hands need right now?”

Child: “They need to squeeze something really hard!”

Parent: “Let’s find your squeeze ball.”

What happened here? The parent helped the child develop emotional literacy by connecting feelings to sensations, then used that awareness to find an appropriate outlet for the energy.

When to Use This Powerful Question

This question is particularly valuable when:

• Emotions are intense or overwhelming
• Someone is stuck in an analytical loop without resolution
• There’s a disconnect between what someone says and their nonverbal cues
• Decisions feel confusing or difficult
• You want to develop greater self-regulation capacity
• Helping someone become more present in the moment

Navigating Potential Challenges

Not everyone is equally comfortable with or accustomed to body awareness. The question might be met with:

• “I don’t feel anything.” → Try offering examples or making it more specific: “Do you notice any areas of tension, temperature changes, or movement?”
• “I don’t want to go there.” → Respect boundaries and shift approaches: “That’s completely fine. Would it be more helpful to explore this another way?”
• Intellectual analysis rather than sensation → Gently redirect: “I notice you’re describing thoughts about it — is there a physical sensation that accompanies those thoughts?”

Taking It Further: Variations and Extensions

• Temperature questions: “Is that sensation warm, cool, or neutral?”
• Movement questions: “Does that sensation have a direction or movement to it?”
• Size/shape questions: “If that feeling had a shape or size, what would it be?”
• Action impulses: “What does that part of your body want to do?”
• Compassionate awareness: “Can you place a hand where you feel that sensation and offer it gentle attention?”

Why This Works: The Science Behind Embodied Awareness

Your body isn’t just carrying your head around! The relationship between body and mind is bidirectional:

• Interoception (awareness of internal body states) is linked to emotional regulation and decision-making
• Polyvagal theory shows how nervous system states affect our ability to connect, think clearly, and feel safe
• Somatic markers guide our choices through subtle body sensations before conscious awareness
• Embodied cognition research demonstrates that thinking itself is a whole-body process

Try It Yourself!

As you’re reading this guide right now:

• What sensations do you notice in your body?
• Is there tension or ease in particular areas?
• How is your breathing — shallow or deep?
• What happens when you bring curious attention to these sensations?

The more you practice this awareness yourself, the more naturally you’ll integrate this powerful question into your conversations and relationships.

Remember: The body’s wisdom is always available — we just need to ask the right question to access it!