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Elvis is Scared to Leave His Hidden Bunker and Confront His Ex-Wife After 40 Years
Dr. Folklore’s Dating Advice for Mythical Folks (№69)
Origin Story: There’s one sub-genre many people don’t expect to be included within folklore… conspiracy theories! One popular conspiracy is that Elvis Presley, “The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll” (who died on August 16, 1977 while on the toilet), faked his death and went into hiding. Many theorists also suspect other celebrities like Marilyn Monroe and Michael Jackson did the same thing, and are protected by a secret organization called “The Illuminati.”
Dear Dr. Folklore,
I faked my death almost 45 years ago with some famous friends to quarantine from the virus known as “Fame.” The long time away from my fans and family was kowabonga, but this (underground) heartbreak hotel has been leavin’ me all shook up.
For one, my roomies invade my boundaries when I clearly need time in my sanctuary, like when Tupac wants to spar with me while I practice my Kung Fu. And if I throw a tantrum, he’ll say, “You ain’t nuthin’ but a hound dog — cryin’ all the time.”
Second, it’s gettin’ really uncomfortable whenever Michael Jackson wants to talk about the time he married my daughter.
