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Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

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Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№18)

3 min readApr 5, 2022

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Daddies & Grubs

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The climb up the corporate ladder is long and arduous. Every day one mega-conglomerate swallows up another to form an even steeper trek to the peak of the org chart. Many end up demoralized by this pursuit. We know not everyone can be a billionaire… but maybe just, like… we could be one? And so the question stands: how do you sustain yourself in a marathon where the finish line keeps moving forward?

I call this situation the “Infinite Daddy” Paradox. Every boss (aka daddy) has to have a daddy as well, and that daddy also has a daddy. It’s a theoretically infinite chain of hierarchy. And so we can see how, by definition, the pursuit of being the hypothetical “Daddy Prime” leads to madness. You would literally have to become God to win, and until that tech exists (trust me, they’re working on it) we need to find a way to survive.

The only solution to maintain sanity is a shift in perspective. It sounds trite, but in the pursuit of maximal managerial power, you have to focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you’ve got left. Count your proverbial business blessings. However, I want to be clear. I am not saying what you have is enough. If for even one second you decide you don’t need more than what you have, the entire world economy will crash. You must always desire increased status on your business card for capitalism to function. What I am saying is that every rung you climb up is another foot away from the pit of despair where you started. The further you are away from your “hole” the less power it has over you. You may not be CEO yet, but you are perhaps a greater distance from your initial chasm than most.

Is this difficult to do? You’re damn right it is. Especially when you know the truth of the org chart.

But here’s the reality.

The truth stings, but I am here to tell you that being a grub is not a bad thing. Neither is being a cog in a machine, a puppet on a string, or a pawn in someone else’s game. Take pride in your work. The grub is the one who consumes the decaying carcass and turns it into life. The puppet is the one who entertains. The cog is the one who turns the wheel. The pawn is the one who corners the king. The “Infinite Daddy” Paradox tells us that being subservient is a position we are (for the moment) inextricably trapped in, so to fight it only saps valuable energy. Instead, be the ultimate grub. Wiggle your fat little worm body around as if you were the mighty Shai-Hulud from Dune.

I know how bad you want to be at the top of the pyramid. It’s natural to desire complete control over thousands of people. But if you want to stay sane, don’t focus on how green the grass is on the other side. Focus on the mud beneath that unites it.

David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer . You can for even more innovative content.

Greener Pastures Magazine
Greener Pastures Magazine

Published in Greener Pastures Magazine

Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

David Business
David Business

Written by David Business

Business is more than my passion, it’s my name. LinkedIn Warrior and Management Theory Freak. Close personal associate of comedy writer Kenny Gray.

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