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What If Who You Are Isn’t Entirely Your Fault?
And what that means for how we treat each other
Maybe instead of thinking in terms of blame or credit, we should think in terms of cause and effect. If people are shaped by their environment, how much responsibility do they really have for the choices they make?
We like to believe we’re self-made
Most of us walk around believing (or at least pretending) that we’re totally in control of who we are. We chose our careers, we overcame our traumas, we worked hard, and we earned whatever success we have. We tell stories that make us the hero. That’s how Western culture trains us to see ourselves: as agents, as authors of our fate. Although this is correct to some extent, that’s not all there is to it.
Where you were born. What your parents were like. The schools you went to. Whether or not someone took the time to read to you as a child. Whether you grew up around violence, addiction, poverty or safety, stability, and love. These things shape us long before we are even able to make a conscious decision.
In a study by Havard University, kids raised in chaotic homes tended to have higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can actually alter brain development. Children exposed to rich language environments…
