Parenting Sans Nuclear Goes Nuclear

A stepmom’s take on J.D.Vance labeling Kamala Harris as a “non-parent”

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As soon as J.D.Vance was named a vice-presidential candidate, word of a 2021 with Tucker Carlson resurfaced. After including Kamala Harris on a list of people “without children,” Vance lumped them all together with this missive: “How does it make sense that we’ve turned our country over to people who don’t really have a direct stake in it?”

I’m a mother of two, and also a stepmother of seven. And Vance’s comments underscore a trope that apparently never dies: the only people who care about a child are the people whose sperm and egg met up, or adoptive parents. Stepparents like Kamala Harris don’t count. Not now, not ever.

I read Vance’s memoir Hillbilly Elegy, and recall that his own stepfather, who had legally adopted him, cut all ties with J.D. when he divorced his mother. I also recall that his biological father had remarried and had more children when he relinquished parenting rights; it’s possible (though not stated) that his father’s wife influenced this decision.

Stepfamilies and blended families exist on a spectrum of legitimate family units