One Uterus Many Votes
Give the unborn a chance to have their votes count
The Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v Wade has caused no small amount of handwringing by some who find the loss of freedom for some persons, namely those with uteri, disturbing. While understandably upsetting, this is an opportune moment to jettison outdated ideas concerning the rightful place of uteri in the governance of our citizenry. For far too long, uteri have been underappreciated as a source of fetuses, who will soon have the full rights of personhood, a long-term goal of fetal champions. Alas, fetuses and children cannot vote, so someone should vote for them. It is time to give every uterus its due.
Now is the perfect time to jettison the one-person-one-vote idea. We have an interesting history of counting residents for voting purposes. The Constitution wouldn’t have passed without the compromise allowing Southern enslaved persons to count as three-fifths of a person for purposes of representation in Congress.The South didn’t have enough white men to send to the new Congress without counting the enslaved persons, who couldn’t vote, obviously, but could be used to swell the ranks of Southern states’ representatives.
So if we can count someone as three-fifths of a person, it’s a small leap to counting a person as more than one, a super voter.
Persons with uteri have the fantastic potential to create additional citizens. Since such persons are forced to carry new citizens until giving birth, they should be accorded additional votes upon pregnancy: one for themselves and one for each new citizen.
Each time the person gets pregnant, they would get an additional vote. So a person who has produced five children would have their vote count six times, once for themselves and one for each child.
Persons with uteri have the amazing potential to create additional citizens. Since such persons are forced to carry new citizens until giving birth, they should be accorded additional votes upon pregnancy: one for themselves and one for each new citizen.
Persons identifying as uteri-bearing individuals but who were not born with said organ would be accorded two votes because they have undoubtedly imagined carrying a child and giving birth. These people also must contend with strangers’ ugly speculations regarding their reproductive capacity. (Some states may wish to accord these individuals three votes.) A person born with a uterus who doesn’t use it to make more citizens would be accorded two votes until they can no longer reproduce, which is currently sixty-seven, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.
Persons whose uteri are no longer capable of producing citizens and whose ovaries are filled with shriveled raisins would get five votes each, plus an additional vote for each child carried. So, that mother of five gets eleven votes once freed from her uterus. These people would be given the title of Queens of the Uteri and a sizeable income for life upon the first hot flash. These wise women are the unsung heroes of our nation, and it is about time they were honored with more than a Mother’s Day card, stale chocolate, and a gift certificate to Target.
A person born without a uterus would be allowed to cast one vote starting once they turn twenty-five, when their brains are less influenced by testosterone. That is only fair.
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