“Not Like Us” And The Shadow Of Domestic Violence

Whitney Alford’s appearance in her fiance’s music video isn’t giving what they think it’s giving

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I just finished watching the much-anticipated music video for Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us,” and it did not disappoint.

I found myself delighted at the references and jabs that were brought to life, from an owl pinata (“Wop! Wop! Wop! Wop! Wop! Dot, f*ck ’em up!) to a 3-second cameo of former Toronto Raptors and Compton native DeMar DeRozan (“I’m glad DeRoz came home, ya’ll didn’t deserve him neither”), and all the krumping my almost-middle-aged heart can stand.

Until the outro, when we see Kendrick standing with his fiance Whitney Alford and their two children. My delight was quickly replaced by confusion.

Kendrick can be so heteronormative it hurts, with an overly simplistic idea of manhood that relies too heavily on personal discipline. That he fails to understand the optics of having his partner, who he’s rumored to have physically assaulted, appear next to him in the video for a diss track isn’t surprising.

(For further context, not only did Drake accuse Kendrick of assaulting Whitney, but Drake also accused Dave Free — the music video’s director who’s previously collaborated with Kendrick— of…