Single Best Piece of Advice for New Parents

One simple thing can make a seismic difference.

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Somewhere there is a list as long as a CVS receipt of things no one tells you before you become a parent. Everything from the value of zipper (and more recently, ) pajamas to your inevitable new obsession with poop (your ability to eat ground mustard is going to be tested in a real way). Be warned: when you have a baby, your child is not the only thing being born. Get ready to welcome into the world everyone’s opinions and self-proclaimed expertise. That’s the real after-birth.

I’m not a parenting expert. I’m not a baby whisperer. I don’t know the secret tricks to soothe a screaming newborn. I don’t know the perfect way to hold a bottle to ease a gassy infant. I struggle each day to figure out who my baby girl is and how I can be the best parent for her. Most days I get 1% better at being her dad. Some days I get worse.

I have nothing to offer you to improve your parenting skills. I can, though, offer you one piece of advice for you and your partner: Hold hands.

Having a baby is going to test you. It will test your patience, it will test your ability to function on minimal sleep, it will test your resolve and it will test your marriage. Frustration is real. Resentment is real. Jealousy is real. You are going to feel all of these things so…