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LIFE
When She Says ‘I’m Safe, I’m Fine’— And You Know She’s Not
Supporting a domestic violence survivor is a roller coaster of emotions
*trigger warning
“I’m safe. I’m fine.”
That was the standard response Sandy gave me when I voiced my concern for her safety.
After her husband pushed her out of a moving vehicle.
After he quickly moved her from one home to the next, systematically isolating her from her family and her friends.
After he berated her and told her she was fat and lazy.
After he shamed her and told her God was watching what she did and she would be damned if she left him and abandoned their marital bed.
The response was always the same when I asked how she was:
“I’m safe. I’m fine.”
And she would smile her reassuring, people-pleasing smile, hiding the pain she was experiencing. No one from the outside could imagine the violence my dear friend was experiencing. For many years, she hid it well.
The list of abuse is lengthy. Jack terrorized Sandy with psychological abuse, manipulated her with emotional abuse, and when those two tactics failed to sufficiently control…
