Hot under the collar

What is it with school uniforms?

The author in his uniform in 1986, when he still had to wear the ‘cute little hat’. (Image: Author’s own.)

1990

It was a hot summer morning. I was walking to school, through some of the quieter streets of central London, when I heard the giggling.

Across the street, two teenage girls were laughing as they walked arm in arm. I couldn’t catch their words but their accents were unmistakable: Americans, tourists presumably. One of them was wearing denim shorts and a florescent crop top. The other had pink heart-shaped sunglasses. In my 14-year-old opinion, they were the coolest, most attractive girls on the planet.

The Americans caught me looking and burst into more laughter. The morning suddenly felt a lot warmer. I risked another glance. Heart-shaped Sunglasses wasn’t just waving at me, she was waving me over.

In what I believed to be a nonchalant saunter, I approached the girls. I must have looked as terrified as I felt because Denim Shorts said, “It’s OK. You can smile y’know!”

I barred my teeth in an awkward British grin. Heart-shaped Sunglasses took out a compact camera and took my picture.

OK, I thought. This is getting weird.

“Hey!” said Denim-shorts. “Do you also have one of those cute little hats?”