Freedom is Being Disliked — True Liberation
What would you do differently if you stopped caring about being liked?
We seek approval from everyone: our parents, friends, coworkers, even strangers we may never meet again… This craving for acceptance shapes the way we speak, act, and even think.
We condition ourselves to be restrained, and held captive by the perceptions of others. The belief becomes ingrained: If people like me, then I’m worthy.
This desire for validation doesn’t just apply to those closest to us; it extends to everyone, from the barista who serves your coffee to the family members who raised you.
Exercising your Freedom and Living with your Principles
“It’s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.” — Ichiro Kishimi (The Courage to be Disliked)
It asserts that true freedom is found when we release ourselves from the need to please others.
Alfred Adler, the father of this psychological framework, emphasized that living authentically means prioritizing our own values and purposes, not conforming to the expectations of others.
Being disliked is not a failure but an act of courage. It’s a declaration that we are no longer restrained by the fear of rejection or the pursuit of universal approval.
By embracing the possibility of being disliked, we reclaim our autonomy and find liberation.
Where do we find True Liberation?
But true freedom lies in being okay with being disliked. It’s about unlearning humanity’s collective conditioning — that being liked means you are valuable.
When you embrace the possibility of being disliked, you break free from the invisible shackles of societal expectations. You begin to live authentically, no longer bending to fit into someone else’s ideal or compromising your truth to earn approval.
Being Okay with Being Disliked
Ask yourself:
- Why do I desire to be liked?
- What’s the worst that could happen if I was disliked?
- Do I try to find people that like me, or try to find people that I like?
Reflecting on these questions will lead you to your own resolve for liberation. It’s one thing to read and another thing to understand completely with your own psychology where liberation lies.
To be truly free, you must accept that not everyone will like you — and that’s perfectly okay. In that acceptance lies liberation, where your worth is defined by your own values, not by others’ opinions.
