Member-only story
We Don’t Talk About That in This House
Or anything else that might be interesting or juicy
“We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is the great, bouncy song from Disney’s animated movie Encanto, the hit of that movie. Many families have a “we don’t talk about” rule that inhibits family lore, gives rise to gossip and supposition, and has a years-old impact on how we understand the world.
I was raised in a pastor’s home, so the “we don’t talk about” rule applied to anything I thought was worth discussing. Before I was confirmed, I had a crisis of faith and told my father that I couldn’t be confirmed into a faith I didn’t believe in. My father told me my questions showed that I thought deeply, and should be confirmed. My mother was more dictatorial — “What would people think? Of course, you’re getting confirmed. It’s your father’s job!”
I remember that conversation sixty years later. The “this is most certainly true” part of Luther’s small catechism was the answer to the provided questions. During confirmation, the pastor asked the questions, and we, as a group, answered, “This is most certainly true.”
Confirmation taught me about cynicism, not authenticity or faith. It was my first big rift in how my actions were later to inform my words, public posturing or not.
