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MENTAL HEALTH
What To Do When A Friend’s Smiles Are Masking Pain
Trying to fix them is not the answer, but the art of listening may be
Life can feel like we are drifting in the ocean sometimes, close to the danger of drowning with no one to save us.
We become fixated on things that are going wrong. Past business failures or failed relationships. Declining health. Feeling like no one understands how we feel.
That’s how a close friend felt at one point.
He was always positive and smiling on the outside, but something in his eyes signaled a sense of sadness and stress over a recent period in his life. He was married with kids, struggling—from what little I knew about his situation—with his finances while planning a possible relocation to a new city.
I was encouraged to tell him a personal story.
At one point in my life, I found myself standing at the edge of the dock in Brooklyn Heights, looking down into the East River, contemplating for about five minutes whether to jump in and end my pain.
It was a long time ago, when I was sixteen years old, living in New York City, but it still seemed all too real and not too distant. I think about that time often, for a lot of reasons. What…
