Not Sure What’s Missing? This Is Where to Look
Hint: It’s not your mindset or your habits — it’s something deeper
Most people assume they know what they want — until they get it.
You work hard, check off the “should” goals, and reach all the expected boxes. But somewhere along the way, something unexpected hits: the nagging doubt, the quiet voice asking,
- “Did I choose the wrong path?”
- “Is this it?”
- “Why do I feel this empty despite doing so much?”
The problem isn’t you. The problem is how you’ve been taught to set goals.
If your life looks successful from the outside, but something inside still feels flat, the gap isn’t about ambition. It’s about alignment.
If you’re someone who plays smart, plans well, and still feels stuck, there’s a better way to figure out what’s missing — without overhauling everything blindly.
Why Most People Choose the Wrong Goals
Think about how your current ambitions came to be.
Were they based on:
- Old stories about success, status, or security?
- Outdated versions of yourself?
- External expectations — family, culture, comparison?
Most people unconsciously follow a path shaped by:
- Reward-seeking instead of fulfillment-seeking
- “More” mentality instead of meaning
- Success as recognition rather than resonance
- Trying to prove worth instead of living from worth
The result? You do all the right things, but life feels off anyway.
If that sounds familiar, it’s time to shift how you define what you want.
The 3-Step Process to Find What You Truly Want
Instead of blindly setting goals, use this method to uncover what actually lights you up.
1. Look for Energy, Not Just “Passion”
Forget finding one big “true purpose.” Instead, focus on what gives you energy.
Ask yourself:
- What re-energizes me after the day?
- Where do I naturally light up in conversations?
- When do I feel most engaged and alive?
Try this: for one week, track moments where you feel engaged vs. drained. Patterns will appear.
Example: You might write articles at work, but what really excites you is mentoring others — or solving human, not technical, challenges. That’s a clue. Use it.
Tools like are built around this kind of data — your energy, your values, and your real life — not just vague ideas about purpose.
2. Redefine Success on Your Terms
If you’re unclear on what success looks like, the system you’re using to measure it is outdated.
Instead of chasing:
- Recognition, status, or validation
- The job title that sounds impressive
- The lifestyle that looks good online
Try asking:
- What impact matters most to me right now?
- What do I want to feel more often?
- Who am I becoming, and is that someone I’m proud of?
When you define success from the inside out, you stop chasing approval and start moving in the direction of real fulfillment.
3. Stop Outsourcing Direction
Most people don’t struggle because they lack ideas. They struggle because they’ve been trained to disconnect from their inner voice.
To reconnect with your inner clarity, ask:
- What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
- What have I been postponing that actually matters?
- What decision have I already made — but haven’t acted on?
If you answer those questions honestly, you’ll get more clarity in five minutes than you will from five more podcasts or five more journaling prompts.
If you want to take it further, gives you a guided structure to make these discoveries tangible. It’s not about fixing yourself. It’s about finally hearing yourself.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
Stop waiting to feel 100 percent certain before you make a change. Most people get clarity not by thinking harder, but by doing something honest.
Start here:
- Follow what gives you energy
- Redefine success based on how you want to feel
- Trust that you already know more than you think
If you need help building a life that fits, not just a life that looks good, I offer one-on-one coaching to guide you through this process. Together, we create clarity, direction, and momentum based on who you really are — not who you’ve been trying to be.
Medium readers get 10% off any My Life Quest package with the code MEDIUM10OFF.
About The Author
Natalya Permyakova is a life design coach, entrepreneur, and creator of , a guided self-discovery tool that helps you reconnect with your purpose, vision, and power.
For more clarity tools and practic al insights, visit or connect with her on . Ready for a change? to work with her directly.
