We’ll Do It One Day… Right?
The many reasons we habitually don’t take action, and the first step to making our ideas come through.
I’ve been intending to write and publish my work for a long time.
Years, in fact.
I always thought it was a brilliant idea, sharing the ideas in my head using a method I enjoy.
So I planned. I had flashes of inspiration, created writing accounts, broke out new notebooks, and brainstormed. But then, each time, just as things got exciting, I got stuck. My subconscious would supply me with all sorts of justifications to “put it off a little more” or worse, “just not do it at all”.
Somewhere in the vast distance between idea generation and taking concrete action, I would stop, and tell myself: “I’ll do it one day.”
How many times have I heard that sorry old line from myself? Again and again, my mind provided me with these things I liked to call reasons. (Because reasons are rational, and rationality comforted me in times of inaction.)
It took some brutally honest self-reflection to see my “reasons” for what they truly were: emotionally driven hesitance. They were excuses, stemming almost entirely from doubt and fear, driving me towards passivity.
That’s it, I decided. I had to get over myself.
Thus began months of digging into my own head, followed by months more of observing and talking to others. It quickly became clear that it isn’t just me that gets trapped by the mind-bog. You, too?
Fast forward to today: I’m sitting at my computer, finally ready to write about the very thing that had stopped me from writing for so long.
If any of what comes next sounds familiar to you, trust me. You, too, can look your “reasons” in the eye, and glare them down.
1. Is it even going to work? What if I fail miserably?
Failure can feel soul sucking. The fear of defeat has left me paralyzed multiple times, unwilling to put myself out there again to risk further disappointment.
It’s true that we can’t fail if we don’t start — but we can’t succeed either. I found that I take power away from defeat by reshaping how I let it affect me. I can let it build resilience instead of disappointment, innovation instead of insecurity. Failure has been my teacher in what I did right and wrong, and how I can do better next time.
Being comfortable with defeat has afforded me unmatched freedom, as I’ve removed the self-imposed pressure to be perfect. All I have to do instead is learn from my experiences, and try again.
2. What if I embarrass myself? I’m good at many things, but this isn’t one of them. Maybe I should just stick to what I know.
When it comes to not taking action, the risk of embarrassment comes hand in hand with the possibility of pride: we have to take that step before we know what awaits us.
Feeling embarrassed or ashamed has showed me the areas in which I can still afford to grow. Instead of stopping me from trying at all, this emotion now fuels my desire to prove all the naysayers, including that voice in my head, wrong.
In this trial of life, we are our own harshest judge. Nobody else cares about our embarrassing moments nearly as much as we do. So, take a deep breath, and let this fear go.
3. But… that’s not what everyone else is doing. Is it really a good idea?
I’m not sure about you, but I’m a human being. That makes me a social creature who feels the need to maintain my role and status within my community. As a result, I tend to choose to behave like everyone else.
I’ve learnt, though, that while blending in keeps me safe and cared most times, it doesn’t allow me to thrive. There have been occasions where I performed better because I stood out, and others where I performed worse simply because I didn’t.
Here’s the question: can yet another carbon copy contribute something that is better than everyone else?
Another inherent human trait is our desire to seem significant, whether to the world, our society, or just our loved ones. How can we do that if we’re not different, first?
4. Even if I do this, it’s not going to make a difference. Why bother?
I’m guilty of having given up on things that were important to me. I didn’t believe I could bring about the changes that I wanted to see. This likely happens to all of us when we deal with a rigid hierarchy or system, or just really stubborn people.
Mother Nature teaches us change through the seasons — the world follows the slightest cold draft. We, too, can be like that breeze. If our vision is a meaningful one, if we choose to start and put in the work, our impact will ripple outwards. One voice, one social media post, one letter to the right person. How else would it begin?
5. I probably won’t stick with this till the end. It’s happened before. Why add to the list of things I’ve given up on?
Beginning on a new task or habit is valuable, even if we don’t always see it through. Taking the first few steps to something will let us gain a little bit more than not starting at all.
Last month, I tried to start a habit of learning one new bit of information a day. I bit the bullet, began, and proceeded to gain ten days’ worth of knowledge that month.
Imagine if I had just said, “This month’s too busy; I’ll start next month instead.” I would have gotten a grand total of zero days’ knowledge.
Starting’s worth it.
6. This is really important to me. I can’t give it my best now, so I’m going to wait for a better time, when I can focus on it.
This is a little less commonly identified than the rest, and definitely more insidious. For me, it comes from a place of good intentions, a strong desire to give my best to the task at hand.
The more important something is to me, the more dedication and time I feel I need to put into it. Hence, instead of starting, I think myself “too busy right now”, “not in the right headspace”, or “not able to devote”, and spend my precious time on all the less important things instead. Massive backfire!
We must recognize that our to-do list is magical and self-refilling. We (probably) don’t live in an isolated cave, away from the world; we can’t hide from our responsibilities.
Plus, a lot of the things that are important to us — having a much-needed conversation with our partner or child, writing a letter to a loved one, reading a book that we’ve put on hold, starting to work on an idea we’ve had for years — have no fixed deadline. These are things that nobody is forcing us to do; they are more about life than work or school. Because no one is checking up on us, it is easy to avoid these tasks in favor of everything else.
The only right time there will ever be is when we put ourselves into the right headspace, and begin.
This list is non-exhaustive; my inaction is usually caused by more than one simultaneous justification. Which one(s) can you relate to?
Today, identify one excuse that feels familiar, and notice how it affects your life.
Motivation and confidence come after action. I can vouch for it — that’s how I got around to publishing this article.
