Reflections on Turning 59
Gratitude for life so far.
Maybe it’s because I have more time on my hands, or maybe it’s because I am getting older — or perhaps a combination of both. I have found myself reflecting a lot lately. As I enter the last year of my 50s, I am reminded of a similar feeling I had when I turned 29.
While most people seem to dread turning 30, I looked forward to it. I was excited about starting a new decade, a new beginning in my 30s. But 29 was hard; it marked the end of my 20s, a decade I loved. Although I experienced some ups and many downs in my early 20s, it was a very good decade overall. I completed my bachelor’s and my first master’s degree, began my career, and moved across the country from Texas — the only home I had ever known — to New York. As I was ending my 20s, I built a new life in New York. I learned a lot about myself and came to accept and embrace my sexual orientation as a gift. My 20s were a time of tremendous growth and change, and as I turned 29, I felt sad to see them end.
Now, at 59, I find myself a little melancholy for similar reasons. I have loved my 50s, and I don’t want them to end. Time stands still for no one; the deepening lines on my face certainly prove that every time I look in the mirror. I would mention gray hair, but I started turning gray in my early 20s (if I’m honest, I got my first gray hair at 18!). I began teaching social work in my 50s — something I had dreamt about for almost 20 years. I approached that dream, which became a reality, with a combination of nervousness and excitement, and it has been a wonderful learning experience.
During this decade, my son graduated from high school and college — having a family was inconceivable in my 20s. I joined the board of a non-profit organization focused on an issue near and dear to my heart. I have been in a relationship with my husband for almost half my life, and together we have been fortunate to travel and explore the U.S., including many national parks. I have cherished our travel adventures.
My 50s have been very good to me. Like my 20s, they have also been a time of tremendous growth and change. I will embrace this year and reflect on how I got here, post-middle age. I appreciate the long-lasting connections of friends and family through the decades. I am grateful for the experiences and the journey that have brought me here. I am thankful for a life that has allowed me to foster love and purpose in deep, meaningful ways.
Now, I wonder what new adventures, changes, and growth await me as I enter a new decade next year.
