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Thought-provoking essays on gender, identity, and culture through the feminist lens.

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DATING IN METAMODERNITY

There is a “Bi” in Biased Dating

Is it wrong to give women preferential treatment over men?

6 min readMay 16, 2025

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Illustration by for . I just love this illustration, so in dramatic irony, it fits!

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On average, I treat my women better than I treat my men. There, I said it. I know that, as a feminist writer who champions equity, I shouldn’t have practiced preferential dating, but I have.

And I think I’m right in doing so.

The way I’d meet cis women and cis men was wildly different

I’d meet the former at bars, clubs, on a walk, maybe at a coffee shop, or a queer-friendly space. I almost exclusively met men via dating apps. If not, through the recommendation of a friend.

Rarely did I come across a man on a walk somewhere that I’d speak with and agree to hand over my number to.

My reasons will sound sexist to a man, but they’ll make sense to women: there is a lower chance that a woman won’t understand consent compared to a man. So, it just made good sense to meet women more… organically, whether it was for a hookup, casual sex, or something more long-term.

You might say, “Well, an app is hardly a good way to meet men! All they want are hookups!”

Bitchy
Bitchy

Published in Bitchy

Thought-provoking essays on gender, identity, and culture through the feminist lens.

Sangeeta Kalsi
Sangeeta Kalsi

Written by Sangeeta Kalsi

Dubai-born Indian living in Italy. Writing from a feminist artist & immigrant's lens. Say hi on Ko-Fi:

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