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Carved on My Stone Heart
I suffered and struggled, I coped and healed, but I don’t think I will ever forget.
“Please, world that I cannot comprehend, send me confusion and storms and destruction, let me cope and heal and let go, but please, please, don’t ever let me forget.”
This was a quote I came across while reading the essay “ And So On…” by Lynn Davis, and it resonated with me, because I never forget. I want to forget, but I also want to carve this memory in stone, an excruciating carve on bleeding stone, and I want to visit the stone regularly and study it and let my emotional waves rise and settle and rise again… so that the truth lives on forever, and I never forget.
I’ve lost the virtue of forgiveness I once had. It has been replaced by an obsessive, acrid and vivid preservation of every detail that elicited emotions in me. I remember every such incident- the good and the bad. And thus I cherish those who once did me a kindness eternally, and remember the pain one caused me indefinitely.
On my first day of university, my new best friend — and virtual MSN best friend for four years prior — met me at the cafeteria early in the morning. I had had butterflies, mostly of anxiety about the new experience and the many adaptations to be made, so I only drank chocolate-milk in a carton from the…
