My Ex Told Me He Loved Me Too Much

When “I love you” becomes an abuse tactic

Photo by on

When I first started dating my ex, he was always clingy, jealous, possessive, and controlling from the very beginning. He later turned physically abusive, but even before then, there was another glaring red flag that I couldn’t quite put my finger on why it bugged me so much.

He told me he loved me too much.

Now, everyone loves being told they’re loved and getting that verbal reaffirmation of someone’s feelings for them. But when your partner is saying it to you 20 times a day, it starts to get annoying. Smothering, even.

He’d say it constantly. In the morning while we were getting ready for work. In the car on the way to work. At work. In the car on the way home from work. After work while we were watching TV. Multiple times at all of these points.

It started to really grate on my nerves after a while. Finally, I told him he was saying it way too much, that it loses its meaning and significance when you over-say it.

Needless to say, he got angry.

I was starting to feel suffocated. We lived and worked together, so we literally spent every minute of every day together. He got angry and upset every time I had a trip home coming up to spend a few days with my friends…