“It’s Generational Trauma” Doesn’t Help an Abuse Survivor

It’s not a free pass for abuse. There’s also something better we can offer to survivors than an explanation.

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First off, I get the concept — but funnily enough, as a therapist, “it’s generational trauma” is not my go-to response when someone is sharing their painful childhood experience or an even more recent conflict with their family of origin.

For one thing, I don’t owe any grace to the people I don’t know directly and who aren’t in the counseling session. Second, if my client’s abuse happened when they were a child, I’m not obligated to use “it’s generational trauma” to excuse the harmful actions of these unknown-to-me adults.

Especially if deliberate, malicious bullying is closer to my client’s experience than a pattern of unconscious behavior.

Even so, we’re not playing Misery Olympics and I don’t assume that one kind of harm hurts less than the other.

Yeah, this meme extends to generational trauma too.

Giving a history lesson and telling abused children and survivors to basically “think about your parents’ suffering!” doesn’t appeal to me. It’s also…