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Sports-Impaired in America — A Brief History of Life on the Bench
In the menu of life, sports are not for everyone
Early Trauma of Selections
When I was in elementary school, the gym teachers had a somewhat sadistic system whereby two captains were chosen to head a team. These were, of course, the most athletic girls, girls who could swing a bat like a jackhammer and kick soccer balls into the gym rafters. They were large and made of beef and cement whereas I was pale, bookish, and made more of cotton balls and splinters.
Following this warfare-inspired selection system, these captain-girls would cast all matters of friendship aside and select the highly muscled girls who could win points and understand where to run in the gym while the adults shouted. I never knew what was going on and felt like I was some kind of captive in a live game of chess.
During the selection process, we stood execution-style in a single line while the captain-girls pointed to us and said our names which meant we were to form a line behind them, and we were now on their team. The gym teachers would walk back and forth, explaining how this system would create skill balance within the teams.
One particularly traumatic time, after sleeping over at Jessica’s house that Saturday…
