Why Men Don’t Talk About Rape

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This is my response to an article about men helping women talk about and recover from rape: http://jeetwincasinos.com/fourth-wave/men-can-help-women-recover-from-sexual-assault-d8c0d548aa7e

We all agree there is something simple and healing about listening and being empathetic. To be heard and understood are the most important human attributes that we can give and receive from other human beings. Just listening without judgement is very powerful.

Outside of therapy, listening without judgement is NOT happening enough today. This does not mean we shouldn’t try and remind men and women that listening is the essential element in any conversation, especially about rape or other trauma. Keep reminding them. I am in favor of that.

Strong, secure relationships are built through conversation and connection. The corresponding trust between partners is a natural outgrowth of empathetic connection. Trust allows partners to be heard and understood. Trust can and should take time to establish.

Sometimes trust never gets established and the shadow of rape or other traumas are always inside a woman, but unspoken. Speaking the truth is intimacy and neither the truth or intimacy is easy. A woman must be able to articulate to herself what rape did inside her before her story can be genuinely told to a partner, friend, family member. She…