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When is it “us” and when is it “others”?
Judging since young
The human mind tends to think in a two-way street. That does not cross over. So much for human “intelligence”. The conditioning starts young. Just ask anyone who grew up as a visible minority in the community. They are perceived by “us” as “others”. Simply because of a difference in race, religion or class etc. If the judging becomes serious and negative, it can lead to a prejudiced and divided environment. Two people with one difference between them can share many similarities but we tend to magnify the “others” aspect in the person whom we see as different and downplay the “us” aspect.
Advice for others
Our thinking towards regrets is the complete opposite. We often see our regrets as not just belonging to “us” but also applicable for “others”. I once watched a video where the host asked an elderly lady what advice she would give to the younger generation. Her reply was “stay in school”. This stemmed from her own regret of not continuing with her education. While her personal regret is valid for her, it may not apply to everyone else. Someone who kept staying in school might regret not experiencing life outside of school more.
We need to discern which part of our regrets belongs only to “us” and which part can be shared as advice to “others”. I prefer to reframe the lady’s…
