Too Kinds of People: Introduction
“HEY THERE!” No, too much. “Salutations, reader.” Nope, too serious. “hi?” Too passive. “Oh YAY, you’re FINALLY here!” Too excited. “Sup.” Too casual. “Why, hellooo there…” Too creepy. “OK. FINE. HI. WHATEVER. Just MOVE ON already.” Nope. Too aggressive…
But *ahem* yes, maybe keep reading. We’ll circle back to this.
Whether it begins with societal expectations, the criticism of others, or the harsh view we tend to have on ourselves, many of us edit our personalities or make ourselves smaller due to the fear of being “too much” of something. I, for one, find myself to be a “too” kind of person. I have spent my life being hyper-vigilant of my own “Too’s”. I’ve been called (by myself or others): too nice, too shy, too sensitive, too soft, too naive, too optimistic, too afraid, too slow, too much, too late… the list is too long. I would over-analyze the way I interacted with the world around me, thinking I was taking up too much space by being, well, too much of myself. Is that even possible?
Now that I’m older and am now a mother, I can’t help but ask — what even is “too much” of something when it comes to a genuine part of who a person is? In my own paraphrased definition, the word too is defined as an adverb expressing that there exists an inappropriate excess of the following adjective. So, when it comes to simply being yourself, is it possible for there to even be an excess? What’s the standard then? If so, who set those standards? Is it me that’s too much of something? Is it a misjudgment on someone else’s part? Or is it possible that certain things do need to be kept under checks and balances? If so, how do we discern between a misunderstood “too” versus you just truly being you?
“Too Kinds of People” are those of us who hide or minimize parts of our personalities out of fear of how they might be received. I want to offer an extra moment to consider the possibility that these traits could be a truly beautiful gift.
So, we’ve already established one of the usual definitions for the word too, but for this blog, we’re going to add one more.
Too (n.): a characteristic that one has been called or labeled which would imply the recipient should change about themselves to be successful or accepted by lessening, managing, or controlling said characteristic.
I used to be ashamed of my Too’s, but I’m here to say that there are times that, with a slight adjustment of perspective, I’ve realized these Too’s are some of my greatest strengths. Too nice? I prioritize kindness over my ego. Too quiet? Well, I’m a great listener. Too sensitive? So I feel things! Sue me! Too soft? I didn’t let the toughness of this world or the cruelty of others harden my heart. Damn well sounds like strength to me. If these are my Too’s, I’m proud to be a “Too” kind of person.
And I know I’m not the only one.
There are so many more Too’s to explore. This blog series is a journey in discernment between the moments in which a Too is truly too much of something, versus opportunities to celebrate and embrace my authenticity. I hope that by sharing my stories, tools, and perspective, I can help another “Too” kind of person see that maybe they aren’t being too much of anything at all. That maybe, just maybe, this world could use more Too Kinds of People.
So. Hello, friend! Welcome to Too Kinds of People.
