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Don’t Judge What You Don’t Understand

Why we stay in a toxic relationship longer than we should

Lory F.
4 min readSep 17, 2024
Photo by , on Pexels

Have you ever told your story to someone only to have them say: “Oh, if it were me, this wouldn’t happen, I would never allow abuse to happen to me” or “You are stupid to have stayed that long, why didn’t you leave immediately?”
Well, I used to be the kind of person, who judged what they didn’t understand because it had never happened to them, people who think it has never happened to them because they are smarter than others.
Yes, I was ignorant and clueless — until it happened to ME!

After years of relationship and 2 children, I found myself inside the dark tunnel of abuse, it came out of nowhere, with no previous conflict or provocation. It was here, and I suddenly became one of those women, who I swore I’d never be, and stayed for years before having the courage to say “Enough Is Enough”!

Here’s why:

PHASES:

1. Shock

The initial shock takes time to let go of. When things are fine and then you are hit with abuse, you go through the shock waves of questioning yourself:
- What just happened?
- This isn’t happening, it must be a bad dream or something.
After realizing that it wasn’t a dream, you…

Lory F.
Lory F.

Written by Lory F.

Mother of beautiful twins, Musician, Blog Writer, Video Creator .youtube.com/@loryphoenix [email protected]

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