What Can You Say Today That Someone Might Remember 35 Years From Now?

The words were simple: “I’m sorry to hear about your father.” But for a young girl, they had an impact that spanned decades.

photo: i

I was sixteen years old and sitting at a bar. (Don’t ask, it was the 70’s in New York). A boy from my high school — one of the cool kids, someone who barely talked to me otherwise — came over to me and said “Hey, I’m sorry to hear about your father. I just wanted to tell you that.” His name was Tom B. He sat down and talked with me for a while. I don’t remember another thing he said that night. But I remember that he was the only one of my high school class besides my closest friends to make an effort to say, “Hey. I’m sure what you are going through is hard.” We talked for an hour, two, and then he left, I left, and we never saw each other again.

In fact, I didn’t see any of my high school friends again. I want to college miles away, and muddled through life as best I could for many years. This was years before the internet, or cell phones or Facebook or Instagram or anything. A conversation on the bar stool was about all the connection you had.

Until this year or last year when I slowly started re-connecting with a few people from my high school. I somehow got on a very…