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Unexpected Costs of Having Children
I’m talking just the essentials, like Nickelodeon slime kits.
This humor piece was adapted from the newsletter The Pomegranate. and subscribe.
A white noise machine that everyone said will soothe the baby:
$25
A roll of bubble wrap which is inexplicably the only sound that actually soothes the baby:
$20/week
The cost of gasoline for driving the baby aimlessly around town between the hours of 12 a.m. and 4 a.m. because it’s the only way he’ll sleep:
$15/night
The peripheral costs of walking around Target like a zombie at 7:30 a.m. because nowhere else is open that early and you’ve been up since 4:52 and need to get out of the house before you start screaming into a pillow:
$105/day minus 10% off Cat & Jack graphic tees if you download the TargetCircle app
Two fruit pouches to keep the baby occupied while you zombie around Target at 7:30 a.m.:
Accidentally free, IYKYK
Five munchkins because you and the baby already did your Target outing for the day and you can’t think of anything else to do besides take a little trip through the Dunks drive thru…
