‘Twas the Night Before Christmas as a New Nurse

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I have loved Christmas for as long as I can remember. The twinkling and colorful lights. Time spent with family. Hot apple cider and sugar cookies. Christmas trees and sleigh bells. Hot chocolate and sitting by the fire. The music, food, and movies. All of it.

After graduating from nursing school, I got my first nursing job at the inner-city, county hospital. In the newborn nursery. This was back in 2005 and newborn nurseries were quickly becoming a thing of the past. But, at that time, our county hospital still had two postpartum moms to a room and a separate newborn nursery. Mom could choose to keep her baby in her room, and many did. There were occasions that warranted keeping a baby in the nursery though, such as fresh C-sections, babies of inmates, etc.

I started that job in September of that year, so nearing Christmas I had only been there about three months. That first job as a new grad nurse. I can’t remember if I was still throwing up and crying before every shift, but probably. Those dreading-going-in moments and crying on the drive to work subsided as time went on, but three months in, I was still feeling mighty incompetent and unsure of myself.

I worked the night shift. Even sixteen years later, I remember those drives into the hospital. I especially remember driving to the hospital for my shift on…