The False Stories We Tell Ourselves

Sometimes we invent false stories to make ourselves feel better.

The trouble is, we don’t see they’re false at the time. Instead, we latch on to narratives and find all the supporting evidence we can to make them true. We do this because our false narratives are more comfortable than confronting the uncomfortable truths about ourselves.

Let me explain with an example.

I was once engaged to a man who hid his addiction from me. His erratic, unreliable, and sometimes explosive behavior made it harder and harder to maintain the relationship. I would talk with him about what was happening, and he would promise to do better. After too many broken promises, I chose to end the relationship.

It was only then that he told me he was struggling with drug addiction.

He thought this explanation would be enough for me to stay with him, but I simply couldn’t keep myself in a volatile and violent environment anymore.

Three months after our relationship ended, I started a friendship with a male coworker. We met outside of work, often in groups with his friends. It was at one of these events that someone took a picture of us and shared it on Facebook.

When my ex saw the picture on Facebook, he became extremely upset. He left me a voicemail, screaming, “Is this why you left me?! So you could be with him?! How long have you been fucking him?!”