Member-only story
Why can’t I be consistent with something?
I quit things easily and it’s not good. Sigh
I woke up feeling off today. My spirit, soul and body burdened with worries. It felt exhausting to drag my body out of bed, but I did eventually, after drawing strength from God after my morning prayers with my partner.
I got active and ran the necessary errands for the day not wanting anything to pend. I came home and stared at my reflection in the long mirror on my hallway.
A shadow was all I could see.
Face puffed up in tiredness, eyes circled with darkness and my body looking and feeling heavier than usual — maybe it’s the weight of my worries that made me appear triple in size. Who knows?
I tried to push back the feelings, not wanting to let depression cave in, but instead my mind began to wander again at how much of a failure I am — thank you Instagram. I angrily turned my phone off and stared at the ceiling of my bedroom.
It’s a struggle trying to control the chaotic rambles in my head and harder for me to stay consistent with anything. It’s been this way for as long as I remember. I have an earnest interest in something today and before I know it — poof! The interest disappears like a mist after 3 days.
