Member-only story
Love Letters in Lockup
Loving you isn’t the hard part; it’s everything else that comes with. It’s the $75 a week spent on phone time, and the ONE hello and goodbye kiss. The living life alone part because my other half isn’t home yet.
It’s the miscommunication, the disconnect, the pure upheaval that comes with missing a loved one. It’s the “you have one minute,” premature end to every important phone call. It’s the tears that flow after hanging up; the tears that come because saying “I miss you” is cumbersome.
It’s being 21 miles away- 36 minutes to be precise. It’s being so close but yet so far, because everything is so closed off behind those bars.
It’s picking a fight and wanting to scream.. the one thing I need, is few and far between. I don’t get to hug you or kiss you or snuggle you when needed.. and on days that are tough, I’ll admit; you haven’t deserved how you’ve been treated.
It’s throwing away money sitting in silence on the phone.. because I just want to hear your closeness, regardless of the tone. HEARING your CLOSENESS- seems a bit far fetched. But at this point, I’ll take anything I can get.
Your identity is more than any DOC number, people can think what they want- but I know it’s a misnomer.
Loving you isn’t the hard part, it’s everything else that comes with.. but if we’re being honest, I know I’m also no cup of tea to begin with. We sacrifice for each other and do what we know best- loving EACH OTHER, better than the rest.
Thank you for loving me beyond measure and praying without pause. The day I finally get to hold you will be validation of what this all meant- that we can get through anything, and the reward? Heaven sent.
