Member-only story
I Started Therapy
And it has made me more anxious.
As you could tell by the title, I began therapy. It was just a consultation and I cried. The last time I was in therapy it was 14 years ago and it was court mandated.
The therapist thought I was a mute, for reasons I can not disclose.
The consultation went fine, beyond my excessive tears, but all this week I have felt anxious. Therapy has always felt like something I could not do. Various family members have gone to a therapist, but for me, it seemed something not necessary. I have had 6 heart surgeries. I am the strongest and most sarcastic one..what would I have to talk about in therapy?
It is funny. The stigma around seemingly “strong” people. What does it even mean to be strong? Brave? With the heart surgeries, I did not have much of a choice. With every other challenge, the choice was never mine.
To be frank, I am tired. Exhausted. I applied to student teaching and close to the end of my college career and I should be so happy. I feel miserable. I do not want the days to end out of fear another is next and that one is closer to my graduation. It is terrifying. I am terrified.
If life has taught me anything, no one will do anything for you. You must do it yourself. So, I signed up for therapy at my university because hey I am already paying for it.
Thank you all for reading & be a blessing.
