Member-only story
The Constant Tussle
Wrestling the creative inside of me.
I’m a miserable twat. I’ve reached that age (44 1/2) where I’ve realized I’m just a grumpy shit most of the time. You can tell, can’t you?
I live in a steady state of boredom, constantly searching for something to latch onto — a nugget of dopamine for my scattered brain. I thought for a long time that was just how everyone worked. Turns out, I’m one of those ADHD-ers.
The name doesn’t even describe the condition.
I don’t have an attention deficit; I have way too much. Imagine a TV in every room (some people do) with different channels blasting loudly all at once. Do you hear all that noise? That’s my brain. I just don’t know which TV to focus on.
Anyway…
The only subjects I loved in school were English, PE, Design Tech, Art, and Drama — anything that helped me create. The classroom environment wasn’t for me. If I wasn’t creating something, I was causing trouble or, at the very least, being a distraction for the rest of the class.
I’ve included PE because it meant I could move. I’m not creating like some rhythmic gymnast (now that would be a sight), I’m just hyperkinetic, so I need to move the way Putin needs a body double.
