Member-only story
“Flourishing Through Adversity.
Embracing Growth in the Shadows of Shame and Guilt
When I look back and think about the weight on my shoulders the day I walked into treatment. It scares me.
The baggage I dragged around with me was incredible.
I'm not talking about my record collection but the emotional pain I’d carried for 26 years.
I'm talking about the perceived truth that I was never wanted. A lie that my old man had dripped fed me through daily acts of rage.
A thought that began to grow the day my mum left the house at the age of seven.
This little seed of rejection took root and transformed itself inside of me into crippling shame.
My whole life I’d never felt good enough. I never felt like I belonged, anywhere.
This wanting to connect and be accepted led me to a can of butane at the age of nine.
My appetite began to grow and my curiosity along with it.
If you put any substance in front of me that could take me away I would get it in me without a care in the world.
The whole time running away from this deep sense of brokenness.
